This House
The last strains of sunlight lingered in the corners, grasping every available point of refraction. She slid her fingertips along the glass wondering if this was all there ever was. Or could be.
She was 3 when she’d come to this house: too small to be noticed. Easy to ignore. The years since had been lackluster, joyless. Susan sighed. Today was her 16th birthday. Nobody remembered.
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Trifecta’s weekend challenge was to add 33 words to the judges’ proffered 33 words . . . moving the story along. The italicised words are Trifecta’s.
Posted: September 7th, 2012 under Moose Nuggets, trifecta, words.
Comments: 21
Comments
Comment from Kenya G. Johnson
Time: September 7, 2012, 1:23 pm
Awww. I hope a surprise party is right around the corner for Susan 
Comment from Jea
Time: September 7, 2012, 1:57 pm
Brings the movie 16 Candles to mind. I love that movie. Well done.
Comment from Gina
Time: September 7, 2012, 3:07 pm
Someone surely will notice. I’m with Kenya…surprise party! And I loved 16 Candles too!
Comment from Renada Styles
Time: September 7, 2012, 3:42 pm
everyone gets noticed eventually
Comment from kgwaite
Time: September 7, 2012, 5:44 pm
Oh, so sad. Very nicely done. I like the refrain: too small to be noticed.
Comment from stephanie
Time: September 7, 2012, 7:35 pm
Loneliness. You captured it very well. An outsider wanting to fit in, but unnoticed. Nice.
Comment from JannaT
Time: September 7, 2012, 9:22 pm
I like the idea of a surprise party. If you had 33 more words, could you make that happen? 
Comment from Tessa
Time: September 7, 2012, 9:30 pm
I feel her pain. Nice piece!
Comment from vew
Time: September 7, 2012, 10:13 pm
I want to cry
Comment from uneven steven
Time: September 7, 2012, 10:34 pm
N icew take on the prompt!
Comment from Lumdog
Time: September 8, 2012, 2:52 am
I wonder if she needs to shake things up a bit. Nice take.
Comment from Weissdorn
Time: September 8, 2012, 2:55 am
Where’s the “Like” button?
Comment from Varsha Dinesh
Time: September 8, 2012, 7:40 am
Great take on the prompt. Neglected, an outsider, a birthday girl wishing for more. Great writing
Comment from Tina
Time: September 8, 2012, 10:19 am
So many emotions packed into 33 words!
Comment from Max
Time: September 8, 2012, 12:30 pm
I love the depth.
Comment from Deana
Time: September 9, 2012, 12:19 pm
So sad. Its even sadder knowing that this actually happens. Well written.
Comment from Amy Harrison
Time: September 9, 2012, 1:24 pm
This was great 
You communicated all the emotions of the neglected character, Susan so well
Comment from Jester Queen
Time: September 10, 2012, 7:20 am
Youch. I am completely heartbroken for this imaginary kid.
Comment from Lance
Time: September 10, 2012, 10:17 am
I was drawn to yours because you write so well and I have an angsty teenage daughter.
excellent work and congratulations on the silver medal at the trifecta olympics
Comment from FKC
Time: September 11, 2012, 1:01 am
Congrats!!! Haven’t been playing regularly so I missed this earlier.
Comment from OldDogNewTits
Time: September 7, 2012, 12:42 pm
Flowed beautifully. Nice entry.