Tattoo_Lover / Foter.com / CC BY

Theirs was a rocky relationship from the get-go: met in Little Rock; drove through the Rockies; settled in Castle Rock, S.D.

Castle Rock – a blip on the map: God-forsaken, dusty and hot; a 3-way stop; nearest neighbor miles away. Lord only knew why Lew wanted to be here with the snakes – the two-legged ones and the creepy-crawlies. The two-legged snakes rode HOGs. Lew fell right in with that bunch and Sandi was given a choice: like it – or not.

She was ogled and pawed at – and she hated it. More than once Sandi begged to visit her Mama back in No. Carolina.

“Mama needs me and I need Mama.”

He only laughed, grabbed at her, and looked around at the other bikers. “You’re MAH woman! You don’ need yo Mama, ya big baby. Now, go get me a beer and make it snappy.” He swatted her backside and waggled his eyebrows at his bros.

The biggest of the group growled, “You sure lettin’ the old lady smart mouth ya there. If it was my woman she’d be sportin’ a bloody lip ‘long about now.”

The others laughed and punched each other’s shoulders.

Sandi brought his beer, but stepped a little too close and he caught her up. “C’mere baby, and give me a li’l. You know you want it. That’s why you’re with me. Stop yer snivelin’ and show these guys what I get ever’ night.”

She trembled and tried to get away. “You’re hurtin’ me, Lew. Let me go. I want to go see my Mama.”

“Really? Is that what you want? Well, baby. Life’s a bitch and then you die. Now, get outta my sight. I’ll deal with you when I’m done here.”

A rocky relationship – that’s what they had from the get-go. It ended later that night when Sandi laid the biggest rock she could find upside Lew’s skull. She flagged down a trucker headed the right way and went back home. To her Mama.
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Shhhhh – the editors at Trifecta used a bad word . . . and then challenged us to write 33-333 words using the same word in its third definition. The above is my take on it. Where’s yours?

22 responses

  1. Kim Song says:

    Great descriptions there. I was actually feeling quite frustrated with the rough bunch! Not glad that she murdered someone, but at least she stood up for herself! =X Great piece 🙂

  2. Joetwo says:

    Well that was well deserved! Fair play to her.

  3. Atreyee says:

    Lousy Lew sure had it coming & good riddance!Great story:-)

  4. Jennifer says:

    I don’t blame her. Rocks can come in handy.

  5. steph says:

    Nice descriptions of a rough bunch of dudes. She stood up for herself. Maybe she could plead self-defense.

  6. Raise a girl right and she’ll come to her senses! (and, fun with rocks!)

  7. I like this one; a kind of Thema & Louise solo.

  8. Rachael says:

    Great story Barbara! I agree w/Kymm–love the theme of rocks! And I’m glad Sandi got out of there, even if she had to leave the hard way–hope she makes it to her Mama’s!

  9. Sandra Crook says:

    The ‘rock’ repetition worked really well. And brilliant characterisation in dialogue. Nice one.

  10. Tom MacInnes says:

    Thank you for your comment on my story. It is better now, with your input. More in keeping with my voice. I was never comfortable trying to dress crudeness as humour. That’s not me. Thanks, again, my muse. Please check out the updated version.
    As for your story, wow! Good for her for finding the courage to do the right thing. We all should heed that advice, eh? 🙂

  11. I hope she knocked a few dozen IQ points out of that jerk. Great story.

  12. Tara R. says:

    I don’t advocate violence, but in some cases, it would be so sweet.

  13. deana says:

    Brilliant ending!

  14. Draug419 says:

    I would have used the rock a lot sooner…

  15. Trifecta says:

    Geez Barbara!! You smashed Lew’s head with a rock! Nice work. 🙂

  16. yerpirate says:

    So powerful! THE EMOTIONS ARE RAW, THE DIALOGUE GREAT, AND THE STORY SO WELL-‘PLAYED’

  17. kgwaite says:

    I love Lew’s name – But not Lew. Nice piece. Glad she found that rock.

  18. lexy says:

    I love the whole rocky relationship thing – it worked so well with the story. Glad she hitched a ride out of town 🙂

  19. christina says:

    oh wow i was really worried there for a moment. so glad he told her to get away… so glad she knocked him silly and got back home. to her mama!! 🙂
    love the dialogue.

  20. Gina says:

    I was hoping for just that ending! Loved “The two-legged snakes rode HOGs.”

  21. Wisper says:

    Nice. I love the complete feeling you give such a short piece. I am envious of that ability. Well done!

  22. Debbie says:

    The conflict is palpable in this piece. I shivered in fear with the character and the ending fit the abuse. Yes. I love it!

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