3-7-12: Smallville police reported an altercation at the corner of Main Street and Busybody Blvd. last night. A complaint had been called in to SPD regarding two males of indeterminate age standing in the intersection pounding on car hoods with sledge hammers as people approached and passed them. SPD Chief Small addressed the concerns of the townsfolk: “This incident started when the men challenged each other to ‘feats of heroic strength.’ The only cars damaged were owned by the men in question.” Chief Small ended by stating that the investigation continues, and both men were released to third parties.

2-29-12: Harriet Manson contacted the dispatcher to report her cat was missing. Smallville Fire Dept. responded and found the cat curled up in its bed near Ms. Manson’s feet. Ms. Manson thanked SFD with freshly baked cookies.

Sarah chuckled as she refolded the newspaper and laid it onto the breakfast table. “I so love the police blurbs from Smallville, Dan. There never seems to be anything as vulgar as murder or even breaking and entering. Just the occasional feats of strength and missing cat report.”

Dan Small smiled at his wife as she adjusted his badge and gave him a peck on the cheek. He loved Smallville for the same reasons.
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Week seventeen at Trifecta we were challenged with using the word vulgar in its third definition. We have delightful police blotter reports from some of the small communities in Alaska. The above, while not being “truth”, is a fair representation of some of those.