In looking back over the last year (posts and memories) I see that I have both come a long way and stayed in the same spot. But, even in the staying I am growing. So I think that peace is a good word to describe my inner being today.

This day – 38 years ago – hubby moose and I tied the knot. We were young(er than some – we were 19) and “in love” (most likely “in lust”) and so ready to be out in the world on our own.

Just a few months later two big events happened: (1) hubby moose was called to the draft office (yes, back in the days of the Vietnam war and draft) where he was sent home with a big red x on his belly and stories to tell  about the draft docs who laughed and laughed at his bird legs and big belly and thus the final indignation of a red x and a 4F status; (2) we discovered the same week that I was going to be a mama.

Big changes in our lives were about to occur. Our first nine months of married life we had big adjustments to make – getting to know each other better and getting to know this little person coming into our lives.

People from the late 60s often don’t make it this long in a marriage – in their first marriage – in any marriage. We are a rarity from our own high school classes.

I am asked often how in the world we have done it. Hubby moose and I shrug our shoulders and smile. It’s simple, really:

1) We were never on the same page at the same time to end this marriage. There have been times (what marriage doesn’t have them?) when one of us was ready to walk out the door and never come back. But the other one of us was not willing to see it end. Eventually the “whatever” blew over and we continued on.

2) Plain old stick-to-itiveness! Call us stubborn, call us mule-ish, call us whatever. It basically boils down to this – we go to bed married each night and we wake up married each morning. Sometimes it is as simple – or complicated – as that. We just keep moving on one day at a time.

there have been times that hubby moose has felt that I was controlling his life – there have been times when I have felt that he was controlling my life. We are probably both correct.

The only way to overcome that is to continue on and try to find a common ground where we can both be tolerant of each other and focus instead on controlling our own lives.

I’m making a conscious effort not to denigrate him in public – no snide remarks – no rolling of the eyes – no dirty looks.

How DO we do it?

Just remember – happiness is a state – joyousness is a being. Lord willing, I am working on the joy in my life.

Happy anniversary, Hubby Moose.