Category Archive:Moose Nuggets

you know – this world wide web is a funny old thing. It sucks us in – makes us believe we truly know each other – and maybe in some ways we do – know each other, that is.

I have to say, though, that I really admire those of you out there who seem so in control of yourselves – your own desitinies – your relationships – your innermost selves.

It’s an illusion, I’m sure. I can’t be that much different from all of you. Here I sit – 56 years old – closing in on 57 – and I have NO CLUE who I am or who I want to be or what I will do with myself if I ever figure it out.

insecurities.

we all have ’em, right? Yeah, I thought so.

So – why do we show this face to the world? Why can’t we be vulnerable to those closest to us? Why can’t we say – I’m hurt – I’m angry – I’m pleased – I’m loving this, that, you? Or – are you able to do that? Without losing yourself? Really? Tell me how –

I feel that the world around me wants me to be something – but I can’t quite put my finger on what it is.

I feel that the world around me is disappointed in me when I say what I think – or be who I am – or whatever – especially if it is not the me or thought that “they” (whomever they are) think I should be/think.

And, then I lose the real me as I try to mold myself into those expectations.

crazy making, isn’t it?

56 years old and still a babe in the woods. . . . wandering and unsure . . . vulnerable and hating the vulnerability . . . loving and yet feeling unloved to the same degree . . . here in the now and present time – but lacking in the things that are needed wanted of me.

what say you? Is it just me?

maybe it’s something in the water.

>..<

So. I couldn’t get the stupid template to fix, right? It was driving me inSANE! So I kept working, and finally just redid a new one, and it’s all soft and nice and pretty and JUST as i was uploading the last change?

I figured out WHY the old one was broken. Hahahaha.

So now Nana Moosie has two choices of working templates, this new one, and the old one and tada everything works and damn aren’t I fabulous? Yeah, I know. Heh.

Enjoy, mama! Told ya I’d have everything fixed by the time you got back! 8)

… the Daughter will play.

While Moosie is down melting in Nashville, I’ll be switching kenaiwriter.net in it’s entirety to the new server. So, if it goes down for a bit – don’t panic, it should be all up and running smoothly again by friday.

Unless I break the new server. again. *shining grin*

I’ll update here when it’s all said and done.

aka – On the Road Again . . .

I will be heading off to Homer next week to make a presentation on women with disabilities and domestic violence. This is the final presentation of the little grant we received – remember the training I attended in Anchorage? And then the presentation I did here in June? And the trip I took to Vegas? (no, not the wedding, sillies – the other one) All of those have to do with a larger grant funded by CALCASA called Project Access.?

I head down Wednesday afternoon to pick up the meeting room key and to get the room set up – refreshments into the fridge, etc. Then the other presenter and I will do two days on the subject. I will stay over one more night – because I don’t do well on the road when I am tired.

So, what to do on that last night? Hmmmm???

Well, theatre, of course! And, Arsenic and Old Lace to be exact. I can remember my first theatre experience – it was at a small community center and my mom took my sister and me to see this very play. I, of course, didn’t understand much of the adult humor, but I remember how mesmerized I was by the whole theatre thing.

So, I have made my reservations and just need to pick up my ticket the night of the performance. Memories.

Oh – this theatre? Not exactly like Gladden Community Center. This one has quite a history to it. The seats are all mismatched chairs – well, at least they are chairs now. The first time I went there we reclined on pillows on raised steps. Memories.

but I digress . . .

YAY!! Again –

While I was in Vegas at the conference, an upcoming conference was mentioned – assistive technologies – and I expressed an interest in attending. Unfortunately they only had so much money to go around and would not be able to take everyone who wanted to attend. But I was requested to apply as an alternate.

Today? Today I received word that I will be attending!

It is the week after my Homer trip.

I will be coming home on Saturday – washing and repacking – heading up to Anchorage on Sunday to fly out on the early, early (and probably way too full) flight on Monday.

Where?

Nashville, Tennessee!! Woot!

long long time ago we drove through Nashville on the way to somewhere else (Louisiana). I remember stopping in front of the Grand Ol Opry House – we used to love to watch that on tv – but we didn’t stay long.

Not sure how much playing I will get to do – but I am leaving myself open for the adventure.

Whew! Can we say traveling moosie? Hopefully the flights will not be as memorable as the last ones. :moose: